Monster.com wasn't an option?

Those of you who know me know that I'm unemployed at the moment, save for some temporary work that really does me no good at all. While I generally prefer the term "between jobs", that doesn't change the fact that currently I don't have any income. And yes, that means that this blog is in fact earning me $0 per week. So with this change in employment status, I've been frequenting job boards across the Internet. I have a background in sports from a couple of my previous jobs, so one of the sites I check out regularly is TeamWork Online. I was on the site yesterday for the first time in a few weeks, and there are quite a few interesting jobs listed. Here are just a couple of the ones that caught my eye:

Administrative Assistant, Practice Facility - Madison Square Garden (Tarrytown, NY)
Given the events of the past few weeks, MSG may not be the best place to go to work these days. Unless, of course, you're a female who is willing to sleep with the Knicks (or their cousins) in order to get promoted. In that case, by all means, apply for it.

Director of Player Personnel - Houston Rockets (Houston, TX)
This position will be responsible for evaluation of NBA, minor league, NCAA, international players. The evaluations will be used for free-agent, draft, and trade purposes.

Wait, wait? This is really posted online? Isn't this one of those jobs where the GM/President of Basketball Operations calls around to his buddies and gets a recommendation? Are qualified candidates for this position actually checking this site and wondering if they should apply?

Executive Assistant - Washington Redskins (Washington, DC)
Please tell me this involves working directly for Dan Snyder. If I got this job, would it be possible for me to convince him to give me a raise despite me doing nothing to earn it? Or would I need to be 45 years old for him to hire me?

EXECUTIVE ASSISTANT - Los Angeles Dodgers (Los Angeles, CA)
Does this involve lining up the whores for Tommy Lasorda? Oh yes, I'm sorry. Escorts.

Executive Director - USA Water Ski (Polk City, FL)
I know that the ad asks for it, but is it really necessary to have seven years of experience to run the USA Water Ski organization? Corey Feldman's character, Ricky Wade, in Meatballs 4 had only been to camp for like two summers before he mastered it.

Quarterback - Atlanta Falcons (Atlanta, GA)
Okay, I made that one up. But there are job openings with the Falcons on the site. Maybe Joey Harrington can work for the team's Community Relations office next year. I would suggest Byron Leftwich, too, but I can see him parking his car at 8:30 a.m. and not making it to his desk until 3:30 p.m. Unless of course his linemen from Marshall came to carry him.

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